Mixing Wizards, Witches, and Firewhisky
by Gothicthundra
Summary: Harry promised he'd stop following Draco. He didn't listen. What happens when he and he and his classmates tail Draco, run into Slytherine's, and have a little too much firewhisky. Pointless humor.


I do not support alcohol abuse!!

I am on a lot of cold medicine and I had cheese, feel my wrath!

**Mixing Wizards, Witches, and Firewisky**

Harry stalked the castle late in the night, looking for a trace of Malfoy. He couldn't see him anywhere in the castle, it was getting aggravating. After the fight with his friends earlier he began to re-think his thoughts on Malfoy, maybe Hermione was right. After all he was the ONLY one who thought Malfoy was a plotting death-eater, right? Wrong.

"Harry?" Neville's voice broke into the darkness.

"Crap Nev, nearly pissed myself." said Harry, jumping as he turned to look at Neville.

"Sorry, Harry." came a slightly droopy dreamy voice.

"Luna? What are you two doing out after hours?" asked Harry, shocked that THOSE two out of anyone where out this late.

"We where tailing Malfoy. We heard you tell Ron and Hermie... that." Neville trailed off.

"That you wheren't going to do it tonight. So we thought we could... h..help." said Luna, with a slight giggle.

"Have you two been drinking?" asked Harry, again shocked.

"A little." said Neville.

"Bottle of never-ending fire whiskey." said Luna, holding up a large bottle.

"It's quite calming." said Neville with a giggle.

"What do you have to be jumpy about, I mean really. I have a lot more to be jumpy over, and I don't drink." snapped Harry, in a very Petunia fashion.

"That made me a little jumpy." said Neville, taking another drink.

"Why don't you have a drink?" asked Luna, handing the bottle.

"No, it's stupid. All it does is make you forget your problems for a bit... give me the damn bottle." Harry snatched the bottle from the two.

An hour later, and after waking up a few select Gryffindors; the group attempted to hide, not to well, under the invisibility cloak... not too quietly either. Harry tripped over Seamus' foot and fell with the cloak, taking dean with him. Seamus fell on top of Harry and Luna and Neville just laughed. A minute later; Seamus, Harry, and Dean burst into laughter. They heard talking down the hall.

"Shhh... popo's." said Seamus, jumping up in fear.

"Who?" asked Luna and Neville.

"Po-lice man's..." said Dean, taking a swig of the bottle.

"There's no POliceman's at Hogiewarts." said Harry, sitting on top of Dean's back, scratching his head.

"Geoff." said Dean.

"They's a comming..." said Neville, helping Harry up tipsily.

"Oh no's." said Seamus.

"Maybe they can tell us where we are." said Luna, leaning against the now standing Seamus.

"... I thought you knew?" said all the men.

"Nope." said Luna with a shrug.

"... we're doomeeed." said Neville, dropping Harry.

"Wait... POLICE! WHERE ARE WE'S!" yelled Dean.

"Dean!" said the others, in fear.

"Thomas?!" came Ernie's voice from down the hall.

"Ernie?" asked Harry.

"Harry?" came Hannah's voice.

"Abbot?" asked Seamus.

"Finnigan?" came Susan's voice.

"Bones?" said Luna.

"Lovegood?" asked Harry.

"..."

"Sorry, got caught up in the rhythm of things." said Harry with a giggle.

"What are you Gryffindor's... and Luna... doing out after hours?" asked Ernie.

"Stalking Malfoy." the all proclaimed.

"While drinking?" asked Susan.

"... seemed like the logical thing." said Neville.

"How?" asked Hannah.

"Seemed good at the time." said Luna.

"Want some?" asked Seamus.

"No." said Hannah and Susan.

"Yeah, why not." said Ernie, taking the bottle.

"Ernie!" yelled Hannah in shock.

"Sorry, but I want some." said Ernie, taking a drink.

"Well me ans Sue, will not be party to such an outlandish, rule-braking act!" said Hannah, Susan nodded.

"It's peppermint." said Dean.

"Fork it over." said Susan.

"SUSAN!" yelled Hannah.

"What?" asked Susan, taking a drink.

"Hush, or you'll wake the whole castle." said Ernie, covering her mouth.

"That's where we are!" proclaimed Harry, and Luna and the Gryffindor's sighed in relief.

"Your that drunk already?" asked Susan.

"Light weights." said Hannah, taking a drink.

"What happened to, 'I won't be party to this...' hey?" asked Seamus.

"I said Susan and I, if she is... so am I." said Hannah, taking a drink.

"We should get Justin..." said Ernie, in mid-gulp of the whiskey.

An hour later and the group, plus Justin, stumbled down yet another hallway. Still poorly hidden under the 'shrinking' cloak. They giggled and hushed each other right around a corner and bumped into two figures, who where ninja prowling. All jumped, the two figures screamed. The group screamed. The figures stood in silence, gazing. The group gazed back. The figures looked shocked and annoyed. The group remained in a blank gaze. Then Hannah fell over, and all stared. The figures exchanged glances and yanked the cloak.

"Potter!?" it was a female voice, dripping with venom.

"Parkinseeon." said Harry, slightly slurred.

"Have... Have you all been drinking?" asked the other figure, with a deep mature voice.

"Zabini, right?" asked Dean, leaning over Harry.

"Yes." said Blaise.

"Sup?" asked Susan.

"Not Hannah." said Ernie, still staring at her, the group burst into laughter.

"What are you all doing it out... drinking?" asked Pansy, bitterly, "I ought to report you."

"Who's Hue?" asked Justing, looking behind them, "Harry, your nick name Hue?"

"errrr, not that I know." said Harry, "Could be... maybe... why not."

"We where stalking Malfoy." said Luna, answering Pansy's question.

"Should she have told 'er?" asked Seamus.

"Dunno." said Neville.

"Aint she Malfoy's girl?" asked Ernie.

"No, I am not." said Pansy, crossing her arms stiffly.

"Not for a lack of try." said Blaise.

"Damn it Zabini, shut up!" yelled Pansy, who snatched the bottle as Seamus was in mid-drink.

"Heby." said Seamus, whiskey spilling down his shirt as Pansy took a drink.

"We where tailing Draco." said Pansy, with a deep sigh.

"Why?" asked Harry.

"Never you mind!" snapped Blaise.

"Kay." said the group, and all was silent, then Hannah let a loud snore and they all laughed.

Two hours later, the group, now with Pansy and Blaise, stumbled down yet another hallway. The cloak was tucked under Hannah, who was being pulled on it. The group stopped as they realized they where missing one of the girl's. They looked around and saw Pansy sitting in the middle of the hall, giggling at an herself.

"I... I got the Pansy." said Harry, stumbling to help up Pansy.

"They Pansy fell." said Pansy with a giggle, as she held up her hands. "The hairy potter, pick up fallen Pansy?"

"Upsa Daisy." said Harry, hoisting her on his back, not to agile either.

"No, I'm a Pansy, not a Daisy." said Pansy, who giggled, so did Luna, Justin, and Susan.

"What happened?" asked Hannah, sitting up.

"It's ALIVE!" said Dean, this earned him odd looks from wizard born people, but a chuckle from muggle raised.

Fifteen minutes later the group walked down another hall, the cloak over them, showing their wastes and feet, and in Pansy's case, just her feet. Pansy was babbling about Malfoy to Harry, who was actually consoling her, while others simply commented.

"I mean, I am.. de... de... faithful, caring, sup... suppr... aiding, helpful. Yet he doesn't love me." she sobbed.

"You deserve better." said Harry, with a slight stumble.

"Your so thoughtful. Thank you. But who's better than D... D... Malfoy." she snapped, "Harrykins... will you go out with me?" asked Pansy.

"Why not." said Harry with a shrug.

"Whee, I have a boyfriend!" said Pansy.

"I don't," said Luna and Susan, everyone looked at Hannah.

"She's mine." said Ernie, picking her up and promptly falling over in fits of giggles from everyone and Hannah.

"What the hell!" everyone stopped and looked a head.

"Shh, if we don't move... he won't see us." whispered Harry, there was a couple of snorts.

"We're invisible." said Luna.

"Oh yeah!" said Neville.

"Idiots." Malfoy yanked the cloak off them, "WHAT THE! Blaise?Pansy?.. PANSY!!"

The sight that Draco, Goyle, and Crabbe now saw was truly odd. Hannah was collapsed on top of Ernie, the rest stood stone faced, and Pansy was making out with Harry in front of the group. Draco couldn't pin point what was worse; Harry and Pansy or the fact Slytherine's where in association with the people before him.

"Hello, Draky." giggled Harry.

"WE FOUND HIM!" yelled Neville.

"What?" asked Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy in fear.

"Why where we looking for him again?" asked Dean.

"... to... give him firewhisky?" suggested Harry, they all laughed and agreed.

A half an hour later the whole group walked along the dungeons, not to quietly. Harry was slightly depressed now, he'd been dumped by Pansy, for Goyle. There was a loud bang at the end of the hall, and they all fell silent, save the muffled giggling. Malfoy, who was leaning on Harry, hushed them.

"Shh, it might be Snape." he slurred.

"AHH!" they all screamed and then laughed.

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape." singed Harry, the others joined in.

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Dumbledore."

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Dumbledore."

"Voldemort."

"Ahh!"

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Dumbledore."

"Voldemort."

"Ahh!"

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."

"Dumbledore."

"Voldemort."

"Ahh!"

"Welcoming all Friend's to Hogwarts School!!" they all fell to the floor laughing.

"Crap, it's Professor M!" yelped Ernie.

"Run!" yelled Harry, and they all stumbled and ran up the stairs and broke up.

The next morning, Harry actually felt awake. He came to breakfast, to see a rather annoyed Ron and Hermione. Hermione was taping her finger's impatiently. He yawned, and looked around for a second, why would they be angry.

"You promised you wouldn't stalk Malfoy." said Hermione.

"What, I didn't?" said Harry.

"Then why weren't you in bed last night." huffed Ron.

"What... I..." the memories flooded back and he quickly looked around, everyone made contact at once, and remembered.

"Well, we're waiting. What happened to you if you didn't spend the night stalking Malfoy." said Hermione.

"Sorry," the truth was just too much for him, just letting them believe he was simply stalking Malfoy was fine.

END


End file.
